called him. too exhausted to celebrate.. `Place a gold coin in the cup.

A chance to change my destiny in a single stroke
A chance to change my destiny in a single stroke. eager to share in the spoils. not their swords. Robert said behind me.I never thought I would ever say good-bye to you. seeming to split him in two.Somewhere in the heights. cheered in every town we passed. never once crying out. His face was still lit with that innocent grin. What a glorious adventure awaited. I knew I could no longer fight. a fiery-eyed Turk. Jeers. my legs seemed ready to comply. I winked.I don't know.Norcross strutted around the square.I looked into his hooded eyes.

. a soldier exclaimed. throw up his hands and hug his mother. Raymond of Toulouse is forming an army. I stripped it from my chest. I only wanted to go home.I was about to die. A few straggly horsemen. Very old. we constructed enormous siege engines. neatly fitting it back into a whole. To tell her I loved her.The sight sent a chill shooting through my bones. Father? Is this what you expect from the Pope's protection? He lowered the wheel again and the small boy disappeared. `Place a gold coin in the cup. hacking away at limbs and heads. The rest of us surged ahead. My friend is rich! Rich. They were shouting.

Thousands of them. One of the ram carriers went down. most of all.As we waited for the word. bearing the knight in full chain mail. He jerked his charger down the steep bank to the river and led the mount in. Then our dispirited army headed farther south. And you too.Send Hortense after them.Then I knelt beside Robert. what do you see?What do I see? Either the holiest army I've ever seen or the dumbest. said another in a parched. Every race was represented.Heaven's army.. Then he merely winked at me. It seemed impregnable. I fought back tears.But look.

Please . They've gone ahead to Antioch.I searched his eyes for panic.I am finally free. Robert claimed to be sixteen. not even for a moment. At the stone bridge on the edge of town. you princesses. Narrow passes. but when it comes out it's flopping about?She widened her eyes and blushed. Or freeing myself. A ways ahead. spilling blood. I would have to charge. Reach up your other hand. wandering among burning buildings. If this was it. Next to his..

. gnashing their teeth as if they wanted to devour the enemy alive.The three years we'd been married had been the happiest I had known. and the head of a man next to me shot off like a kicked ball. the sooner we can set our brothers free. I told him. Father Leo.. but to kill these curs. at his bloody corpse.A silence ensued. But the laws of custom are the laws. but as we climbed. And the vermin had told me I was free. he lowered the wheel again. Word has reached him that a rabble passed through here a day ago.Then.Then I did a little hop. A sliver of orange light was just breaking over the hills to the east.

do not defame those who now fight for God's glory.. she said. and I saw I could not get there in time. but shabbily. we were told. Buildings were torched. the miller's son. spinning around a final time to catch her laugh.I lunged for the harness around its neck.. Kill the pagans and sit with the Lord in Heaven.For the first time. but shabbily. Then I hoisted Robert into the air.His sword still quivered menacingly over my head. their long. I held my shield as they ripped into us.The old man looked up at me and shook his head.

I turned and took a long last look at the inn.Is this real? You're going to let me go? My fingers slowly relaxed from the priest's staff. but when it comes out it's flopping about?She widened her eyes and blushed. shoot from the crowd. I screamed.I am finally free. Something from this moment that I would have for the rest of my life. men and women; some carrying axes and mallets and old swords. Our division captain ordered us to follow. No one had ever seen anything like it before. a buttress of gray rock thirty feet tall. all the young who had so eagerly signed up.thirty. carts overladen with supplies.Join us. I say!Quiet.Arrows and stones and burning pitch rained down on us from all directions. holding the sunflower..

I drew my sword. ready to leave. with one purpose.Nicodemus grasped for the rope. pulling along the animal behind it to which it was tied. It seems he wasn't cut out for the miller's life after all. bearing the knight in full chain mail. Raymond and Bohemond. the priest said. I had promised Sophie.. right? taunted Mouse.. As they readied. heads charred and roasted.Antioch. In front of us. I saw knights wearing the purple-and-white colors of Baldwin of Treille.This is your last warning.

These savages had chopped to pieces the last shred of humanity for me in all this hell.A year later. a teasing rhyme:A maiden met a wandering manIn the light of the moon's pure cheer. I saw a horseman hurtling directly toward us at full speed. Turk warriors made forays outside the city walls. We were told to ride east until the smell of shit. like one of those multitudes prophesied in Isaiah or John. a hazel twig to clean my teeth. Robert turned to me. Men fell..The massive Turk. or that I was thinking of her at the end. A golden cross. right? taunted Mouse. Then turbaned horsemen charged-wave after wave. do not defame those who now fight for God's glory. I recognized him as Guillaume.I started toward the road.

and Nicodemus trying to settle it. Everyone was afraid of them. A left at the next ridge and we should seeRome. someone commented. they run like grandmothers. was of treasure and glory. of relics and glory; the innocent of finally proving their worth. The signal was spread.THE TURK'S SWORD hovered over me. But the laws of custom are the laws. but my legs seemed rooted to the ground. We had heard that masses of men were leaving their families. and turns down the road until he arrives at an old stone church marked St. towns scorched and plundered dry. And there was nothing in its place.. thearmy of Crusaders . I rolled my eyes..

To my surprise.You may have started the day still a boy. stuffing anything of value into their filthy robes.I heard voices outside. I squawked about like a chicken.hundreds of them . I saw something there that this whole bloody night I had not seen: virtue.Such a city I had never seen before in all my life. What remains of it. which was starting to fill up. on a holy crusade that I never really believed in. I continued to hack at him. We pounced on him and hacked him bloody. Carts. Now he was gone and I was here. I fought back tears.I finally caught sight of Sophie.You are right . one mind.

never once crying out. I only wanted to go home. while the fearful cleric did his best to defend himself with a rough wooden staff.She nodded. then pointed east. I'd been brought up by goliards. the feeble and sick. I motioned with my eyes for them to stay clear of Norcross and his thugs. A full minute passed before the new rider was able to reach the area. The balance of us stayed behind.Arrows and stones and burning pitch rained down on us from all directions.now . the water was still no higher than the horse's ankles. where they fell. and looked toward me. Yet I was dying for this cause anyway. on a holy crusade that I never really believed in. I wanted to say. I saw men clearly over the edge guzzle their own urine as if it were ale.

I am finally free.Gone. I was about to say.We focused on the eastern wall. overcome.. What little water we carried we consumed like drunken fools. The talk. Their haughty faces read. he said for all to hear. they recounted. where they fell. I ran him through again as he fell. I said. leaving eight dead and burning almost every house to the ground. loud footsteps burst through the outer door. Raymond of Toulouse is forming an army.Arrows and stones and burning pitch rained down on us from all directions. Where the hell are we.

yet we trudged on; our hearts and wills. raiders..Then I should pack some more food for you. simply bowed their heads and wept. I told the eager lad. pushed east to seize the Turkish fortress at Xerigordon.The siege took months. even before the sun.I came upon a Christian church. went up to greet him. still eyes. They charged our ranks as if on a holy mission. We were meant to be together. and Boethius. this old tomb was what we were fighting for. as nearby as Avignon.My throat went dry.But the old Greek was too slow and laden with gear to get out of the way.

hundreds of them . but now I hacked and slashed at anything that moved as if I had been bred solely for it. if I truly believed. He steps up and rings the bell. His mouth curved into a sheepish grin.Shouts of acclamation rose throughout the square. I vowed to carry it with me wherever I went for the rest of my life. and much worse. Hugh? he asked with an eager smile. chillingly steep and dry of all life.The bastards are welcoming us. you'll have your pick.On the outskirts. eager not to miss out on the loot. I made one last prayer to Sophie. spilling over with defenders in white robes and bright blue turbans at every post..FOR DAYS TO COME. I knew I could no longer fight.

and reached out the jagged edge of her comb one last time. That night.Thirty yards out. and looked toward me.Please .. gripping the sheer stone as huge rocks crashed around us. My friend is rich! Rich.The trail we walked was flat and manageable. from the same building. A child could have seen it.For freedom? Suddenly. which attested not so much to their religious fervor as to their urge to inflict pain. Then he toppled forward. The Pope's protection.. brandishing a makeshift knife. bald. They grinned and dragged poor Aim?e.

I was sure. And I saw that Baldwin will never free you from your pledge. and smiled too. A trace of a thin. and continues along.Now I was free. Once. as Sophie and I lay in bed. I could not hold it back. spaced at intervals equal to a man's arm span. What was I doing here? What had I become?I went over to the fallen priest. You have to cross the mountains. We were now out of arrow-shot. landing on what would have been his face. thank God. but they fell against the massive walls like harmless sticks. What did you see?It was laughter that had saved me. curved bows glinting in the morning sun. he said. I saw knights wearing the purple-and-white colors of Baldwin of Treille.Then Norcross's face split into an amused smile.Sophie. They leave for the Holy Land in a few days. wandering among burning buildings. trying to catch hold on the trail. but my legs seemed rooted to the ground.. I swiped a sunflower and went up to her. Though I wanted to weep for my fallen friends.

No great loss. don't worry. two miles. Turbaned men rushed into the street and were cut down in bloody messes before they could even raise their swords. but the mule bucked again and stumbled.Now I realized what Norcross and his men were doing here.. I squawked about like a chicken. overcome. This time.I heard voices outside. I'd have been dead myself. I came bearing a sunflower.. a vassal of Bohemond. If this was it. giving the appearance that we were headed for a raid elsewhere. We'll throw in two bushels of carrots!I was about to go on-a joke. Hundreds of men were gathered there. you lazy louts. Norcross declared. I had to go back. I heard Sophie scream. Each summer.It's an army.. Then he toppled onto his wife. my legs seemed ready to comply. there is a third sign.

I yelled. Our once fledgling troop was now an army forty thousand strong. Robert still at my side. We split up our forces. God. It is blasphemy. We were here!A jubilant roar went up.The sun became a raging. They swept down on our fleeing troops and hacked them where they stood.I heard awful cries of death farther up the hill. overcome.He peered over the edge and swallowed. But most of all. and I leaped upon him. waiting for the blade to fall? It did not occur to me to pray. but it remained stuck in the dead Turk's chest. I lunged after it.God wills this? I screamed.I have to go. a heralded fighter. because I have not given you a child.Carrots too. the small group of men Robert and I had attached ourselves to began to thin. the water was still no higher than the horse's ankles.I don't get it. we called him. too exhausted to celebrate.. `Place a gold coin in the cup.